So, with that in mind, here are some tales of travel sex that went horribly, horribly awry.

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“Out at the Sundance Film Festival for work one year, I met a stunning model named Brittany. Her laugh was infectious and her eyes were mischievous and you could tell all she wanted to do was unleash a vibrant wild streak. We left a party to go back to my hotel room, where we immediately jumped into a jacuzzi tub. She started to put me inside of her, without a condom. I protested, but she said she was clean and not to worry. I relented and we had loud, passionate sex that disturbed the neighbouring rooms of families on ski vacations. Afterwards, we were driving back to the party when she told me she had herpes. I nearly drove the car into a tree. I asked why she’d said she was clean, to which she responded: ‘Well, I’m not having an outbreak right now…’ I got tested four times over the next six months. I came back clean, but waiting for the results was agony.” – Edgar, 24

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“I once met a guy in Santorini who was tall and beautiful but didn’t speak English. Minor detail, right? Anyways, after a late night of clubbing he took me to the beach to hook up, which was already a horrible idea, but it turned out to be one of the island’s rocky beaches, so it was extra horrible because we literally had sex on a boulder. He had one of those mini European cars that no one fits in. Anyway, it became real sexy when mid-sex he thrusted and I flew off the boulder, scraped my knees and there was blood everywhere. Since it was dark, he didn’t see the messed up knees, so he just saw me “down there” and tried to keep the non-magical magic going. Also, keep in mind the whole not speaking English thing, because in the dark, hand gestures don’t work when trying to explain to a dude that you cannot continue to bone because you are now pretty much a gimp. Eventually, he understood and I was like, ‘see ya!,’ but only temporarily because then he turned out to be my tour guide the next day. Ah, Santorini.” – Jennifer, 29

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“I was at a friends wedding at a country house hotel outside of London and there was a beautiful girl at my table I was hitting on the whole time. I also met another girl whom I knew was a little more adventurous and less ‘classy,’ shall we say. Toward the later part of the evening before the entrees, after many a shot, I went upstairs for a ‘minute’ with the second girl and wound up rolling around for a few minutes. Realizing we should get back to the wedding we straightened ourselves up and went back down. I sat back at the table flirting with the first girl and she says, “You have glitter all over your face.” – Lawrence, 37

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“I once met an English guy in Kuala Lumpur. We ended up really hitting it off, having an awesome time drinking and dancing at a bar. I go back to his [place], where he proceeded to go down on me for like, an hour. No complaints there. Finally, it was my turn to please him. I start going through my sweet moves, only to hear him snoring like a buzz saw about 30 seconds in. That did wonders for my self-esteem.” – Gabrielle, 29

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